wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
