Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
