Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
