I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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