the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
