Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
