Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
