We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize