I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
