margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
