North Korea, Best Korea!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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