i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
