I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You dont lie about slip and slides
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
