he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
