I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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