Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
