Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
