ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've blown a few things in my day
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
