Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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