Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
