i think my tv is drunk
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
