Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
