Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
