Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
