There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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