It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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