so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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