hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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