she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize