Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
