Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
as a side note pls kill me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
