operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
so much tequila, so little girl.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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