I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
