Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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