Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think my mom watched the whole time
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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