My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We just shotgunned beers for America
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
