You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
