OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Drunk is not a location!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize