so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
