Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize