I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
