Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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