This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
