And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize