I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
