This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize