i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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