Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
