Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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