yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they need to just BURY HIM!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
