I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize