i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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