I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
