why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
