Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
