It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I AM VODKA MAN
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
