it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
