Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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