is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
