He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
