I just cut my nipple shaving
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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