her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
