I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
