chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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