I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
