she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I smell stomach acid.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize