Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize