I cockslap morals
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My life is pants optional.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
