Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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