hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Where are you guys?
Drunk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
