Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
